Interview with Hephaestus by D. X. Luc

I quickly rush down to the hardware store, where our hero Hephaestus, waits for me. I’m hoping he doesn’t mind I’m a little late. Once inside, I realize I’m not dressed for a place filled with sawdust, holding back a sneeze. With a brush down of my dress, I look around and see a giant of a man waiting by one of the workbenches. He looks up and smiles, his lava colored eyes twinkling and he beckons me over.

 He offers me a handshake, goggles, and goes back to work. I clear my throat and hope he’s paying attention to my questions.

Me: So, hello Hephaestus.

Heph: *Doesn’t look up* Please, call me Heph.

Me: Okay then. Let’s begin with this first question. How did you like the way I told your story?

Heph: I have to say, I’m very pleased that the world now sees me as more than the “lame one”.

Me: I’m a handy gal myself and really do understand the value of working with my hands. Which, would you say, is your favorite tool?

Heph: Well of course, my Blacksmith’s hammer is my favorite. It is my symbol of power. But like you, I enjoy working with my hands. I’m very good with my hands.

Me:  * Blinks and swallows*Right then. I’m going to be honest here, you are huge. I have never seen such mass. What’s your secret?

Heph: No secret really. I’m just big. There is a need for largeness when working with heavy tools in the forge. Also, as the god of volcanoes, I’m usually bigger than the mountains I rule over. Makes sense. Do you think I’m proportionate?

Me: Oh yeah! You’re perfect. So, as the god of blacksmiths, who would you say was your favorite mortal to possess your skills?

Heph: Hmmm, there is only one that I can recall. Daedalus. I met him once, nice guy. A bit fixated on flying though.

Me: What’s your favorite cuss word?

Heph: I would have to say poutanas gie. That means son of a mother to keep it nice.

Me: Ah, I totally get it. Okay, so back to the story again. What was the most difficult part about seeing your life being placed on paper?

Heph: My life has not been the best, so I feared the world knowing the abuse I suffered for years. That and I didn’t know what the gods would do to me for letting such information out.

Me: What was the best?

Heph: Vanessa. She is my true perfection.

Me: That’s very sweet. Final question. Is there anything you’d wish to add for all of us to know about you that many might not?

Heph: Ares is over in the toilets aisle as we speak and I just stuck a scorpion in the one he’s about to open. * hears a shrillish girl’s scream * Yep, there it is!

Me: * laughing* That’s awesome. Thanks so much for taking the time to talk to me today, Heph.

Heph: Not a problem. Stay and I’ll show you how to construct a birdhouse.

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