Curiosity Quills – A Minion’s Query

I’m participating in the Haunted Writing Clinic hosted by Curiosity Quills and this is my first submission, a query letter. We’ll see if I make it to the next round!

Dear Agent,

Set in New Orleans, Upon an Oyster-Shelled Path is a completed 25,000 word novella introducing the character of Portia Andrade and the Andrade House Mystery series. This work can be included in an anthology or made available as a stand-alone title for readers of cozy mysteries looking for a culturally diverse amateur sleuth in an exciting setting.

Moments before the end of an exclusive gala for Hollywood’s latest ingénue, co-owner of the Andrade House Hotel, Portia Andrade, finds that her unique gift of sight must be used to solve a murder when the young actress is found stabbed to death in the Andrade House courtyard and her feisty sister is the most likely suspect.

Portia Andrade has known since her early teens that the visions which played before her eyes like scenes from a movie were instances woven in the fabric of Time. However, she couldn’t tell if the depictions occurred hundreds of years ago or yesterday. In order to save her sister from an impending arrest for murder, she uses her full arsenal of weapons – her gift, the research skills of her current boyfriend and the investigative knowledge of her ex-husband – to keep her sister out of jail amid a media storm of bad press.

As a former event manager in and resident of New Orleans, I am able to provide the character of Portia Andrade with the knowledge needed to execute a successful function as well as provide insight into the  language and culture which makes New Orleans unique.

Thank you for your consideration,

Vallory Vance

Click here to visit the other blog hoppers in the this event!

8 thoughts on “Curiosity Quills – A Minion’s Query

  1. Nice! I recommend rearranging the paragraphs to 2-3-1-4. The last paragraph comes of a bit pedantic. One more suggestion, add a touch of flavor. Put in a bit of description or character feeling.

    Is this part of a novel? Is it a short story? Does it go with a series? These might be things a publisher would want to know.

  2. Hi Vallory- Wanted to stop by and offer my two cents since you were kind enough to pay my blog a visit! I think this is a solid effort and have only two minor suggestions. I think the first sentence of your third paragraph, though intriguing, is a bit wordy. Also, the second sentence of that paragraph might take on a sense of urgency if you replace “However” with “Unfortunately”…letting the reader understand that this is a negative phenomenon. And, if this is still occurring I would replace “couldn’t” with “can’t.” The sentence would then read “Unfortunately, she can’t tell if the depictions occurred hundreds of years ago or yesterday.”

    Those suggestions made sense in my head and I hope they made sense to you whether you use them or not! Thanks for your comments!

  3. I think that you have a great idea, and a pretty solid query. I do agree with James, that the paragraphs should be flopped around. If it were me, and I’m certinally not an expert, I’d flop your third and first paragraph. I think that would improve the flow of your pitch letter.

    Best of luck!

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