Curiosity Quill’s – A Minion’s First Page

It’s Week Two of the Curiosity Quill’s Blog Hop and the assignment this week is the first page.  I’m still fiddling with the query but wanted to post the first page since this has been written for a while (so this was easy!)

Hollywood had invaded the quiet neighborhood of Algiers Point, located a ferry’s ride across the Mississippi River from the French Quarter.  From her spot on the balcony, Portia could see the majestic steeple of St. Louis’ cathedral peeking over the horizon silhouetted against a  bright cloudless sky.  Double shotgun houses neatly lined the riverbank in an array of pastels from blues to pinks to yellows. It was a snapshot that hadn’t changed much since the early 1900s.

Except for the vans parked along the narrow streets each with the vivid logo from a different television station.  And the crowd of onlookers spilling beyond the restriction gates set up by the Algiers Point Commission to mingle with the cameramen and newscasters.  All were jostling for the best view of the star of last summer’s hit Midnight’s Kiss, Talia McCormick.  All were trampling the manicured foliage of historic Algiers Point.

Portia’s stomach flipped.  Danielle LeBlanc, current APC  President, would surely speak with Portia about this later.  The thought of speaking with Danielle, her perfectly coiffed eighty’s styled mushroom swinging about her thin angular face made Portia cringe and take another puff of her cigarette.

She never smoked while working.  Hollywood had done this to her. The people, the planning, the drama combining in a massive early morning headache and the need for just one before she could continue with the rest of the day.

Not that she wasn’t grateful, Midnight’s Kiss had provided amazing opportunities for her family.  Her sister, Jewel, was now an Oscar winning costume designer from a hit movie and had signed on as designer for the sequel Midnight’s Kiss: Renewal. The Andrade House Hotel had been chosen as the backdrop for key scenes in the first film and was slated for a more prominent showcasing in the upcoming production.  Portia was the event planner for Talia McCormick’s First Annual Midnight Ball for Literacy this evening.  It couldn’t get better than that.

Or worse. A cacophony of screeches, snarls and high-pitched whines erupted from her bedroom and demanded her attention. Portia took another quick puff and crushed the cigarette beneath her sneakered foot.  Taking a cleansing breath, she stepped inside.

Visit my fellow minions as they present their first pages by clicking here!

4 thoughts on “Curiosity Quill’s – A Minion’s First Page

  1. Very neat! I like the way you set the scene– this seems like a story where the setting is as important as the characters, so giving us good visuals is very helpful.

    I had a few minor suggestions.

    1. The transition from para. 1 to 2 is a little jumpy– staring a paragraph with “Except” reads a bit awkwardly. You could add in one quick sentence to ease that.

    2. The beginning of para. 4 makes more sense to me as “She never used to smoke while working.” It fits a bit better with the following sentence then.

    3. Para. 5 is good detail, but maybe some of this could wait until later? It just seems to slow down the pace a little bit.

    4. Para. 6 again helps give us sense words to give us immediacy. Very nice.

    Overall, a well-written first page!

  2. I’m with Talynn. I can mainly say “I liked it!” or “I dunno…” when it comes to critiquing. I feel like the info about her sister slows things down a bit but I can see how that might be necessary info. Other than that, a great read!

  3. I been thinking about this for a week now and I’m ready to submit my revision! (fingers crossed). It’s hard because actually, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing!

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